Bent Page 5

  He was pulled out of his blissful daydream by fingers snapping in front of his face. "Hey, you okay?" Micah realized that even though he hadn't moved an inch, his breathing had become labored. Not only that, but if her eyes traveled lower, she would see exactly how not okay he was as his hardness pressed against his jeans, begging for release.

  "Yeah, um, I just... I need some space." She told him last night that the truth was the most important thing, that they could work through anything if he told her the truth. He told her the truth. He simply left off the part about doing something they would both regret if he didn't get away.

  The pieces of the puzzle started coming together in Julia's mind. Heavy breathing. Lack of eye contact. Fidgeting. Tense muscles. As her light blue eyes scanned his body, they got wide the moment they were south of his waist. Her own breathing spiked as she saw how ready he was. She swallowed hard, remembering how good he felt when they were younger. Every time. That's the thing about great sex, you never forget it. The memories might fade, but all you need is a trigger point and they're called back to the surface in high definition.

  There was no doubt she was losing her mind. She wasn't just playing with fire, she was getting ready to throw a full canister of map gas into a bonfire. There was no way to avoid someone getting hurt from the shrapnel. Forgiving him was one thing, she told herself. Finding a way to become friends again was one thing. Allowing herself to fall into his arms and take her inside was completely different. She'd been stupid to ever entertain the thought that she could use him for sex to get him out of her system. She stepped back, hoping some distance would lessen the current flowing between them.

  When she walked outside, she'd planned to tell him that she would go to dinner with him, Austin and Lizzie. She was giving him another chance, just like Annie suggested, and was starting to look forward to their night out. As her mind filled with thoughts of all the things she'd like to do to his sculpted body, she wasn't sure that was a good idea.

  "Hey, while you're getting your space, call Austin and Lizzie. Figure out what we're doing for dinner," she said, stressing their friends' names hoping it was clear that this was not a date of any sort. She wasn't which one of them needed the reminder but it needed to be said. "When you get back, let me know where we're going so I can get ready."

  The look on Micah's face morphed from frustration to confusion in a matter of moments. "Or not. If you don't want me to go with, that's fine too," she said trying to hide a tinge of disappointment. Maybe he'd already made the plans and told them she wasn't coming. Maybe he knew it was a bad idea for them to spend time together too.

  "No, I want you there." The timbre of his voice was lower now. She watched his Adam's apple shift as he composed himself. "You decide where we're going." He rubbed his forehead as if he was trying to relieve pressure.

  It would have been a kind gesture to allow Julia to choose the restaurant if not for the fact she had no clue what restaurants were still in business. She called Annie for recommendations. Julia felt a knot in her stomach the entire time she and her friend were on the phone. She was torn between spilling out everything she was feeling towards Micah and holding it in. While Annie was the one who said Julia needed to give Micah another chance, she was fairly certain there were lines even Annie hoped wouldn't be crossed.

  With only a few hours left before dinner and a lot of work left on the front porch, Julia changed into a pair of jeans. Micah had never been one to quit before a job was done and she knew his unexpected break was going to put him behind schedule for the day. Helping him out would get the job done faster so he had time to shower. She came out the side door right as Micah was returning from his walk. "Hey, you feeling better now?"

  "Sure," he replied, "But now I have to get back to work. Hot date tonight and she's not the type that likes to be kept waiting." He laughed as he looked over his shoulder.

  Every minute they were together felt like a potential lynch pin. Anything she did, anything she said could change everything forever. The problem was she didn't know which pin she wanted to pull anymore. Last night, it had been clear. She wondered how it could be that everything was clear when she was drinking and so confusing when she was stone sober. "Very funny. Now, what are we doing?" she asked, pointing at the stack of lumber beside her.

  He looked at her as if she was speaking a foreign language, "What's this we?"

  "Well, if you're not going to keep that hot date waiting, I figure you're going to need help to get the decking in place so you can bail. I'd hate for you to be in hot water on my account." The playful banter felt good. "Plus, rumor around town is that you need to find a good woman." She never thought that being in the presence of someone she'd blamed for so much pain could make her feel alive again. It had been a long time since she felt like this.

  Micah was more than her first love, he was her very best friend at one point. He was one of very few people who knew the details of her parents' divorce. He knew how hard it was for her. She knew that he was the one who came over to make sure her younger brother, Adam, had a hot meal and someone to help with homework on the nights their dad was stuck working late. He used to be the constant in her life.

  Micah was more confused than he'd been before his walk. He wanted to know what was going on in her head but not bad enough to run the risk of tipping her off that she was flirting with him. For the time being, he would take what came his way and worry about it later with a cold shower or two.

  Much to his surprise, they made a good team. He'd figured that years of living in the suburbs would have turned Julia into a priss. He couldn't have been more wrong. More than once, he found his face within inches of hers as they both crouched over the planks. Every time, he had to remind himself that they weren't kids and he couldn't brush his lips against hers in a playful kiss. This was harder than he thought it would be. Micah was around the side of the house grabbing the last few pieces of lumber when he heard Julia curse.

  He rushed back to the porch to see what was going on. "You okay?" She was holding her hand close to her face muttering a string of profanities that would have made a trucker's face flush. It was cute on her.

  "No, damned splinter. Hurts like hell!" She wasn't having any luck trying to pick the sliver out of her palm.

  Micah jumped onto the porch and held out his hand to accept hers. The splinter wasn't big but it was too deep to pinch out. "Do you have a tweezers inside?"

  "No," she grumbled. By the way she was reacting, he would have thought the sliver the was size of a door shim instead of something you could barely see.

  Without thinking about his actions, he pulled her palm to his mouth and began to suck. She jerked away and glared at him.

  "Do you want it out or not?" he snapped. He explained that he was simply doing what they did when they were on jobs without a tweezers available, nothing more. Okay, so he'd never sucked a sliver of wood out of a buddy's hand but he didn't think he needed to clarify that point. Reluctantly, she placed her hand back in his.

  The combination of her citrus body lotion, sweat and sawdust made her smell like a slice of heaven. It felt like being in the grocery store on a Saturday morning. He was given a sample and couldn't remember anything that tasted so sweet but wasn't sure he could afford more than that single taste. He paused for a moment praying for a clue on what Julia was thinking. Her gentle blue eyes were hidden behind closed lids.

  Taking a chance, he placed a soft kiss on the inside of her wrist. When she didn't protest, Micah turned towards her and started trailing kisses to the crook of her elbow. Her eyes shot open as he moved closer. Her eyes weren't filled with anger but he couldn't place the emotion. In the split second he spent contemplating the next move, Julia stormed into the house.

  Against his better judgment, Micah stood to follow. The foyer was cool but it did nothing to reduce the heat radiating from their bodies. "Julia, I'm sorry." He couldn't remember the last time he'd apologized as much as he had in the past eighteen hours.


  Julia could lie to herself and say she wanted to rekindle nothing more than their friendship. That would work as long as they were never within ten feet of one another, and even that might be too close. She slumped onto the staircase and doubled over. Even when she was a hormonal teenager she hadn't put her body through the paces it was going through today. If she couldn't get through an afternoon with him without being all over the place, how was she going to survive dinner?

  Right when she felt her breathing slow to normal, the screen door closed. She looked up to see Micah, in all of his matured beauty standing in front of her. She couldn't ignore any of the features that were so much more defined than she remembered. The rigid angle of his jaw, the close-trimmed goatee framing his kissable lips. The shoulders that seemed to fill the doorway. More than anything, she was drawn to his rich brown eyes. The keys to his soul seemed to swirl with pain and lust.

  When he apologized to her, it was as though one of the bricks in her wall had been knocked out of place. She wasn't mad at him, she was furious with herself for thinking she was strong enough to shut off the raw chemistry between them. If she was smart, she'd steer clear of anything more than polite civility towards the man. And yet he was the one apologizing to her.

  Julia understood now what he'd meant earlier about needing space. She needed space. If she could somehow transport herself back to Nashville, it would still be too close for comfort. "Micah... please, just give me some space."

  Nodding, Micah turned to finish the last few boards and clean up. It took a few minutes before Julia worked up the strength to move from the staircase to go upstairs.

  When she was in Nashville, she'd wanted nothing more than to be alone for a while to prove to herself and others that she could do it. Now, less than forty-eight hours after she was home, Julia wondered if she really could do it. And if not, why was this the man who could shatter her resolve?

  The rational part of her mind said she was being driven by fear and lust. She'd never been on her own and was scared of the concept, no matter how much she told herself she wanted independence. And after a long dry spell it was easy to want someone who was more than capable of fulfilling her needs. But there was that ridiculous pull in her heart that knew the first, and possibly only, man she loved was back in her life. Why can't the heart forget the love and remember the hurt?

  Water pressure was one of the best things about her house in Nashville. The water hammered Julia's body hard enough to make her forget whatever stressed her out. The same could not be said about the shower in her new bathroom. She felt like she could have been standing under a high pressure hose and it wouldn't have given her enough of a beating to relax her muscles. Instead, the water coming from the cheap, crusty shower head felt like water dripping through leaves in the forest after a storm.

  Feeling more frustrated than before but relieved to remove a layer of sawdust and sweat, Julia slipped into her terrycloth robe and fell into her bed. She had an hour before she needed to be ready for dinner and she planned on using every minute she could spare figuring out how to best approach the situation that was rapidly unfolding in her life. She needed to be logical, now more than ever.

  Chapter Five

  There was one flaw with Julia's decision to retreat to her bedroom leaving Micah to clean up and leave. She still had a dead battery in her car and twenty miles further than she wanted to walk for dinner, even if the steaks at the restaurant were tender enough to cut with a butter knife.

  `Annie laughed when Julia called to explain her dilemma and ask for Micah's phone number. "You do realize you're going to give someone emotional whiplash soon, right?" She rattled off the phone number from memory and told Julia to keep her posted on the night's events. It was true. In the past 24 hours, the swing of Julia's feelings towards Micah were off the charts.

  Fashion wasn't Julia's strong suit. Twenty minutes before Micah was due back at Julia's door, she stood in front of a heap of discarded wardrobe options. She was trying, and failing, to find an outfit that showed effortless comfort and class. If Annie didn't have plans with one of the cowboys from last night, Julia would have insisted that she come over and help with what felt like the impossible task of finding an outfit. Running out of time, she picked an emerald green off-the-shoulder shirt paired with white jeans and brown leather sandals.

  Right on time, there was a rap on the front door. She put the finishing touches on her makeup, tousled the waves that fell to the middle of her back and opened the door. Julia wished that, just once, Micah wouldn't take her breath away. The stubble on his cheeks had been cleanly shaven to give a delicious contrast between his tanned skin and the closely trimmed goatee. The leather jacket typically accompanied by a crew neck t-shirt was replaced by a tight, white v-neck tee under a black vest. The work boots from earlier in the day were once again replaced by perfectly broken in black cowboy boots. In a word, he looked stunning.

  An uncomfortable silence filled the truck as Micah drove into Madison. Unable to take the quiet any longer, she leaned forward to turn on the stereo. "Is this okay with you?" she asked, before turning up the volume. She had to remember that whatever they were was different from what they'd been the last time she rode in a vehicle with him. She needed to respect the boundaries of their friendship and that included not messing with his stereo.

  He glanced at her quizzically, "Why wouldn't it be?" He grabbed her hand. They drove the rest of the way to the restaurant with their fingers interlocked on the console. She thought of pulling back, knowing the lines were blurring dangerously but she didn't. For a little while, she was going to stay calm and do what felt natural.

  The restaurant lobby was packed when they arrived. Towering over most of the patrons waiting for a table, Micah was able to quickly find Austin and Lizzie sitting at the bar waiting for their table to be ready. Even though they appeared deep in conversation, Lizzie's mouth fell open when she turned to see Julia and Micah walking towards them.

  Julia laughed at her friend's reaction. She had a feeling that if things kept going the way it felt like they were, there were going to be a lot of jaws dragging on the floor in the coming weeks. In less than forty-eight hours, her defenses towards her ex were shattering.

  "You two look... amazing," Lizzie whispered as she wrapped her arms around Julia. "Seriously, I didn't think we were going to see you out here tonight."

  "I wasn't sure I was coming until this afternoon," Julia admitted, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly as scenes of the day played through her mind. Micah's hand splayed across her back brought Julia back to the present. He guided her to the stool Austin had occupied as Lizzie reclaimed her seat. As they waited, Austin and Micah talked college football while Julia and Lizzie caught up on everything that had happened in the years since they'd seen each other. A few times, Lizzie started to say something about Micah but stopped short.

  She tried to not be upset that all of the friends who'd been supportive of Julia after the break-up were now protective over him. There was definitely something that everyone kept dancing around when it came to Micah in the time Julia had been out of state and she was frustrated that no one would give her the full story.

  They walked past a series of large, open flame grills in the dining room on the way to their table. Memories of the dinner she'd shared with the friends in their company tonight as well as Annie and Tyler rushed to the surface. Trying to get into Micah's Mustang without destroying her dress. Joking about the girls' hair going up in flames if they leaned too far over the grill. The night of their senior prom was the night she allowed herself to finally admit she was in love with Micah. It was the night she allowed herself to buy into Micah's promises that they would be together forever.

  Julia pushed down the sadness she felt consuming her as they reached the table. This was a night to let go of the past and enjoy the moment, she reminded herself. The wait for their server was excruciating. Julia wasn't the only one who was thinking about prom. It was painful to listen to them
laugh about the antics of that evening.

  When Austin and Lizzie headed to the salad bar, Micah reached for Julia's arm as she stood to follow. "Are you okay with this?" His voice whispered into her neck as he leaned in so they were eye to eye.

  "It's just hard, that's all," she responded. In truth, it was one of the hardest things she'd faced in a long time. There were so many forgotten memories seeded within these four walls. Memories that forced her to face the past and question her motives in the present.

  He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and lifted her gaze back to his with one finger crooked softly under her chin. "It'll be okay. Let's get through dinner and then I think we need to talk." The hitch in his voice told Julia that this wasn't easy for him either. She nodded and stood. She prayed she could get a grip before she ruined the night for everyone.

  With arms linked together, Micah and Julia joined their friends at the salad bar. There were a few uncomfortable moments when everyone returned to the table since it was obvious that the remember-when game was over. Austin was the first to break the silence by daring Micah to tackle The Beefeater, the biggest steak on the restaurant's menu. While it was a similar bet to one made years earlier, Micah bowed out, telling his friend he didn't have to gorge himself on almost three pounds of steak to prove his masculinity.

  As the ribbing started to escalate, Lizzie stood and pulled Austin's arm, "Come on hot shot. The baby's hungry and so am I." She cuffed the back of Austin's head when he mockingly rolled his eyes at the statement.